i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize