So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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