At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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