"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
