All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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