im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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