Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
