she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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