Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
