No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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