He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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