Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
