Come see our sink grown plant.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
