tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
