I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
