Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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