how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
