We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
