He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize