i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize