I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
