hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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