She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
