I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
