let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
