i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
