Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I AM VODKA MAN
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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