just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
