I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
