scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
