if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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