Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
