no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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