This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
