Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
