last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
