I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I cut my penus on the lid.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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