my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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