I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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