drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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