Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
