you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
