My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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