is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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