i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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