did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
