My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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