Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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