Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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