try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
