There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
