well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
