i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
