Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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