this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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