What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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