I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
