yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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