If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
