I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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