??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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