Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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