do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
