Im at strip club and am horny
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize