did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
