You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Floor bacon is actually really good
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
